Thursday, December 16, 2010

Forgiveness

My wife and I are currently coming up on our 1 year anniversary. The first year has been great and has caused me to look back on where we have come from. I have the most beautiful wife in the world both inside and out. Its funny because some of those internal things, like her love for others, drives me up a wall! but we will get to that later. Our marriage and dating relationship has been one of many ups and downs. Most people would say that is true to every relationship, but this relationship is not your typical one.

You see at the age of 15 my wife was raped and to add insult to injury after this man was done he said to her, "Get out of the truck you fat @#$%^. I could do better." That statement has greatly affected more people than her for the next 10 years and will for many more years to come. My wife has suffered from anorexia, bulimia, depression, and STD's and not to mention the emotional scars left from that event. She and I have had many late night conversations, fights and everything else you can imagine all because of this one man. Because of everything she has been through, we have had to deal with many issues in our relationship. People tell you that marriage is hard, which it is, but pile on all the issues, medical problems, and emotions created nearly 10 years ago, it places marriage in a while different ball game.

As I mentioned before we are coming up on a year now, but it feels as though we have been married since we started dating 6 years ago. My wife and I met on a church mission trip, in which we started talking. We met over a game of basketball (Is there any better way to meet your future wife?!?!) in which she set a back door screen on me that almost made me nearly double over! (Girls just dont have all the guy parts...) After the mission trip we went our separate ways, but still talked. In this time of talking and becoming close friends is the only reason (other than God's infallible plan for our lives) we are together today. We would talk over the phone, via email and write letters back and forth while she was going to various treatment centers around the country. The funny part is we were dating other people throughout this time, but we always came back to one another. I dont know her whole story as to why she would always call me in her time of need, but I am certainly glad she did. Our friendship grew over the years and we dated and married and over that time I have had to work through several personal issues.

I will only discuss the largest one which includes justice and forgiveness. I would replay this scenario in which I would meet this man in Walmart or someplace and I would go up and beat this man to a pulp. I am 6'3" about 220 or 225 and can put a whoopin' on just about anybody, but this is not my job. I am not the law or God who is the ultimate judge. I whole heartedly believe that God is just, but was having a difficult time applying this in my circumstances. Why would God let this happen? Why would it be wrong of me to take matter into my own hands? Does God not see all the damaged caused related to this one twerp? I would be fully justified in pulverizing this guy if/when I met him. My prayer then became for God to teach me to forgive...and he did.

I posted a blog a while back in regards to Spaceman Spiff. This young man had raped a little girl. It is a touchy subject with me and I go from happy to pissed in no time flat when it ever comes up. As I listened to him sharing how God had been working in his life and how he felt God's forgiveness...tears began welling up in my eyes. I could see how thankful Spiff was God's grace overcame all that he had done and he was forgiven. In that moment I learned what true forgiveness was. It's the same forgiveness provided by God's grace that he bestows to all of us. The same grace and forgiveness I received all those years ago.

In that moment the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. I have been a Christian for almost 11 years now and know just about every answer to any question, but few of the knowledge I hold has been transfered into my heart where full comprehension is gained. I thank God for each of these moments in my life. Moments where I see God for who he truly is and no longer a man who I have read and study about. He is the only way I can continue my life in peace. I am eternally grateful for that.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

That Is Why No-One Will Remember Your Name

I was flipping through the channels the other evening and found the movie Troy playing. For those of you who may have never seen it; the film is based on the Greek Mythical character of Achilles played by Brad Pitt. I have always like the movie due to the opening scene where its a David vs Goliath fight. The two armies line up and send out their best competitor. The army facing them brought out the largest man I have ever seen. Probably 6'8" and 300 lbs! Big ole' boy. Then Achilles is called out and is no where to be found. A young messenger boy rode out to find him. Once found, the boy tells Achilles of the size of this man.

The conversation went something like this:

Messenger Boy: Are the stories true? They say your mother was an immortal goddess. They say you can’t be killed.
Achilles: I wouldn’t be bothering with the shield then, would I?
Messenger Boy: The Thesselonian you’re fighting… he’s the biggest man I’ve ever seen. I wouldn’t want to fight him.
Achilles: That’s why no-one will remember your name.

That last part got me to thinking. If you are anything like me, then your excuse would be I may not do anything amazing in my lifetime but I will leave a quiet mark on each person as we go about our daily lives. The lady at the grocery store who you help pick up her fallen groceries. She will remember me... Who are we kidding?! That lady may remember that act for a few weeks, but she wont remember who did it! We need to leave a mark on this world. One that will truly be remembered. We should strive for it each day and stop taking the backseat to the world. I mean really...let's get real. We never try to get our names in the history books. Is that what life is about? No. But if we try, then we would be leaving more of a mark than if we didnt. No? We have been given a great and wonderful opportunity to leave our mark on the world and on others. Each day it should be our prayer to do something life-changing for someone that day. 

"All great people, start with a small idea." - Anonymous

Thursday, December 2, 2010

My Book on Finances

As many of you have probably listened to Dave Ramsey before, I just began listening to his show about a month ago. I have alway been pretty good with money and never thought I would really need help with my planning of finances, budgets, those sorts of things. I read Dave's book (actually listened to the CD's of the book) "The Total Money Makeover." (Link for CD: The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness)

In this book it discusses the topics of getting out of debt, how to plan for retirement, giving to others, and how to deal with tough financial struggles. As I have listened to his show and read his book, I began to realize how truly blessed I am to have had my parents to teach me and guide me in my financial decisions. I will never forget the time I made my first purchase. It was a Gameboy. Not one of those Nintendo DS or Pocket Gameboys...This was the original grey brick version!!! I had been saving and saving my money to buy this bad boy and the day finally arrived. My Mom, who taught me not to spend money I do not have even at the age of 6, took me to the bank to withdraw my cash. I will never forget filling out the withdrawal slip. At the time, money really didn't mean anything to me. Now-a-days it pains me to fill out my withdrawal slips, but that is besides the point. But that experience has been one that I have never forgotten. I had worked hard to get the money and went through the entire experience from beginning to end, reaping the rewards of my labor. Additionally, my parents taught me to tithe at a very young age. I also remember that my allowance was $1 in which I was given an additional dime to give as my tithe. Obviously, I should have given more since I received $1.10, but the discipline was learned and ingrained in me. I would love any input as to how you were taught as a kid to handle money? Ideas you have implemented with your kids? Any help and/or ideas that you have on the topic would be greatly appreciated! Feel free to share stories, provide examples, or things you have learned as a child, parent, teenager or adult!

My Favorite Movie involving Money - The Italian Job (Special Collector's Edition)Ocean's Trilogy (Ocean's Eleven / Ocean's Twelve / Ocean's Thirteen)The Shawshank Redemption (Single Disc Edition)

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Atheist Complaints on God

As I was driving home from work the other day, I was listening to a radio broadcast and heard an interesting story that got me to thinking. The show was interviewing a young man who had lived a life, and had experiences of a life, that I would not wish on my worst enemy. This young man viewed parents being shot and killed as the murders took his sister into the other room to never be seen again. As they were interviewing him, he made the comment: "How can god let that happen?" and "I don't want anything to do with a god who would kill my parents and take away my sister!."

My first thoughts were rather empathetic towards the young man. I understood. I got what he was saying. And to be honest agreed with him from where he was coming from...Scaring myself some, I began thinking about why, as a Christian, I would be ok with that happening to me. How would I cope or reason or deal with the circumstances God placed in front of me. My first thought pertained to his first question, "How can god let that happen?" and it was this: We live in a condemned world in which we are all fallen creatures subject to our sinful natures. It pains God to see these things happen to us, but provides us with opportunities to show God's sufficiency.

But how comforting is that to this young man? This young man does not want anything to do with God. Then the interviewer made a statement that I will never forget... He said, "God has been there before just like you. He was betrayed by his closest disciples. He was spit on and beaten by people who wanted to kill him. He ended up dying for people who may not ever love him at all." Those few words changed my perception and understanding of Jesus forever. This was a side that I never knew. I grew up in the church and never had such a hard life for this side of Jesus to have any application in my life.

Just look at the life of Jesus. He was sent into this world under immediate prosecution from King Herod (Matthew 2:16). He surrounded himself with 12 men whom followed him and was his closest of friends, and 2 of them betrayed him. Judas sold Jesus' whereabouts to the chief priests to be crucified (Matthew 26:14-56) and Peter denied him 3 times after promising him this would never happened in order to save his own life. Then if those couple of quick examples were not enough, Jesus laid down his life for all of mankind. Some of us have accepted him while others deny him. Those who deny him are obviously a slap in the face, but think of those of us who have admitted to loving him. We are no better than Peter. We go about our daily lives taking for granted what God did for us sending his son to die in our place, without even giving thanks to him.

As harsh as it may sound, we are no better than the young man I heard on the radio denying God and his existence. Admittedly, I do not always live my life remembering what God did or means to me, but after hearing this young man, and comparing our lives, I have a new and refreshed motivation to live for God. Share him with others. And thank him for all that he has done for me.  One of the great ole' hymns: Count Your Many Blessing. (Song Link)